Q: What time does a duck wake up?
A: At the quack of
Q: What do ducks get after they eat?
A: A bill!
Q: What do you call a crate full of ducks?
A: A box of quackers!
Q: Who stole the soap?
A: The robber ducky!
Q: What do you call two ducks and a cow?
A: Quackers and Milk.
Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with fireworks?
A: A firequacker!
Q: What's another name for a clever duck?
A: A wise quacker!
Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A: Foul (fowl) weather.
Q: What says "Quick, Quick!"?
A: A duck with the hiccups
Q: Why do ducks watch the news?
A: For the feather forecast!
Q: What has webbed feet and fangs?
A: Count Duckula
Q: Where did the duck go when he was sick?
A: To the Ducktor
Q: What did the detective duck say to his partner?
A: I hope we Quack this case.
Q: What did the duck say to the banker?
A: My bill is bigger than yours.
Q: Which side of a duck has the prettiest feathers?
A: The outside!
Q: What did the duck carry his schoolbooks in?
A: His Quackpack
Q: Why did the duck fly south for the winter?
A: Because it was too far to walk.
Q: Which animal grows down?
A: A duck
Q: Why did the duck cross the park?
A: To get to the other slide.
Q: What's a Duckworth?
A: I don't know, what does a Henweigh?
Q: How do you get down off a horse?
A: You don't get down off a horse... you get down off
Customer: How much is that duck?
Customer: Okay, could you please send me the bill?
Shopkeeper: I'm sorry, but
you'll have to take the whole bird.
A man and a duck are walking down the street together.
Suddenly the man notices a low-flying airplane coming right for them. The man yells "DUCK!!!!" and the duck looks back at
the man with an angry face and yells "MAN!!!!"
A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Do you
have any chapstick?" When the pharmacist hands it to him, the duck replies, "Thanks, just put it on my bill."