Lemon the Duck

Duck Jokes to Quack You Up!

Laura Backman
About Lemon
Bookmark, Reviews, and Teacher's Guide
How to Order
Awards and Reviews
Awards and Accolades
Lemon's Equipment
Perfectly Pekin Pictures
Lemon on TV and in the News
Contact Lemon
Fun Mail
Lemon's Links
Lemon's Peeps
Just Ducky Sayings
Quack Me Up
Duck Poetry
Feathered Flash Games


Q: What time does a duck wake up?
A: At the quack of dawn!

Q: What do ducks get after they eat?
A: A bill!

Q: What do you call a crate full of ducks?
A: A box of quackers!

Q: Who stole the soap?
A: The robber ducky!


Q: What do you call two ducks and a cow?

A:  Quackers and Milk.



Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with fireworks?

A: A firequacker!




Q: What's another name for a clever duck?

A: A wise quacker!



Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?


A: Foul (fowl) weather.



Q: What says "Quick, Quick!"?

A: A duck with the hiccups



Q: Why do ducks watch the news?

A: For the feather forecast!



Q: What has webbed feet and fangs?

A: Count Duckula




Q: Where did the duck go when he was sick?


A: To the Ducktor




Q: What did the detective duck say to his partner?


A: I hope we Quack this case.




Q: What did the duck say to the banker?

A: My bill is bigger than yours.




Q: Which side of a duck has the prettiest feathers?

A: The outside!



Q: What did the duck carry his schoolbooks in?

A: His Quackpack



Q: Why did the duck fly south for the winter?

A: Because it was too far to walk.



Q: Which animal grows down?

A: A duck



Q: Why did the duck cross the park?

A: To get to the other slide.



Q: What's a Duckworth?

A: I don't know, what does a Henweigh?


Q: How do you get down off a horse?

A: You don't get down off a horse... you get down off a duck.



Customer: How much is that duck?
Shopkeeper: Ten dollars.
Customer: Okay, could you please send me the bill?
Shopkeeper: I'm sorry, but you'll have to take the whole bird.


A man and a duck are walking down the street together. Suddenly the man notices a low-flying airplane coming right for them. The man yells "DUCK!!!!" and the duck looks back at the man with an angry face and yells "MAN!!!!"

A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Do you have any chapstick?" When the pharmacist hands it to him, the duck replies, "Thanks, just put it on my bill."